


She's the only one who can save her

by Thats_gay



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Depression, F/F, Football | Soccer, Homelessness, Implied/Referenced Suicide, US Women's Soccer National Team
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:02:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21808630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thats_gay/pseuds/Thats_gay
Summary: Kelley has had a big problem she has hidden from her friends pretty well... until the school year started and the new girl could see right through her.Alex seems like the happiest person in the world. She just moved to LA, she's beautiful, she's tallented, she's smart and she's rich. The smile never leaves her face. But behind the brightest smiles is hidden the biggest pain.
Relationships: Alex Morgan/Kelley O'Hara, Ashlyn Harris/Ali Krieger, Lindsey Horan/Emily Sonnett, Megan Rapinoe/Sue Bird, Sam Kerr/Nikki Stanton, Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 7
Kudos: 104





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, it's my first story in this fandom, but I hope you like it.

Alex has been living in LA for two weeks now, one of them being the first week of the new school year. It's been monday and on friday, she went to her first soccer practice. Being the new girl on her senior year seemed terryfing to her, but she didn't show it in any way. She hasn't been there for a long time, and even though, she has been hit on numerous times already. 

"So new girl, tell us everything." Christen was the first to speek up when they sat by their table. The soccer girls were the most popular group in the school, so their table was always empty until they got there. Alex wasn't the only new girl, the others being the freshman who shouldn't even be in high school yet, but she was both smart and too good in soccer to be in the middle school and an exchange sophmore student from Australia, who also happened to be there because of soccer. Everyone knew who the question was aimed at, since all of them had met Mallory and Sam at the summer camp. Alex swallowed the bite of the burger she's been eating before she could answear Christens question.

"Everything? Like, you want to know how the Universe was created, or how Einstein created an atomic bomb?"

"Alright smartass, don't mess with my girl and tell us about yourself." Tobin was the trick queen of the team and also happened to be Christen's girlfriend. She was eating with her right hand while the left one layed on her girlfriends tigh squeezing it lightly. It was normal for them to be all over themselves, it was even weird that Tobin had only one hand on Chris. They weren't the only couple in the team, so noone really cared.

"So, I was born in San Dimas in California, but when I was five my parents decided to move across the country and since than I've lived in Orlando. I moved here two weeks ago. I started playing soccer just after I moved to Orlando, so when I moved I was looking for the best soccer program in LA. I also read lots of opinions about schools on internet from students and I just ended up here." She ended her short monologue with a shrug and her future teammates cheered after the last sentence.

"That's right girl! You found the school with the best soccer team in the state!" The sophmore, Sonny shouted and few people looked in their direction. 

"So any boyfriend got so lucky to be dating this beautiful face of yours?" Asked Ashlyn gaining a light punch in the arm from her girlfriend. 

"Boyfriend, never. I'm super gay, no guys, only beautiful, sporty and smart girls and if any of you sees any gay girl who fits it and is single than just make her date me." The moment after Ash and some other gays on the team high fived Alex, a freckled girl sat between Alex and Christen. She looked as she was really tired or drunk. Alex didn't even know the shorter girl and she already was extremly worried about her. 

"Hey hotties! Whats up?" After saying those words, the girl who just came, turned to Alex and started staring at her. "New girl, you know you're cute?"

"Gosh Kelley, how the fuck are you already drunk? It's not even noon yet!" All the girls seemed concerned, but Alex didn't spot a hint of compassion on any of their faces.  
Few seconds later, Megan and her girlfriend, a basketball player Sue, sat at the table and Kelley, who apparently didn't look like this constantly, had drawn their attention.

"What the fuck happened to the party smarty?" 

"Got a little too party and a little bit less of smarty." 

"Hey! I'm not drunk! I only had one beer!" She was trying to defend herself. The truth was, that she was going through a rough time and she didn't want her friends to worry (not that it was going well), so she just didn't tell them what was happening.

"Get your ass together Kelley, we have a practice after school and you don't wanna miss it. I'm pretty sure coach wouldn't hesitate to throw you out." Ashlyn was trying to help her friend, but to Kelley, she was just being annoying and it pissed her off.

"You know what?!" She said loud enough for people around them to hear. "Fuck you. Fuck you all. I'm done with this shit and I'm done with you!" After that, she suddenly stood up and, with the food in her hands, stormed out of the lunchroom. She ignored all of the teachers screaming at her for escaping, especially with the food. Alex considered going after her, but was stopped by Christens hand on her arm. 

"You need to let her go. Going after her wouldn't help, but could put you in trouble." 

"Has she always been like that?" 

"Not really, she's always been a party person, but she also was a straight A student and a soccer team captain. She's actually planning on going to Stanford after graduating. Last week she seemed ok, though she was kinda off, but she had to have a rough weekend." Christen explained and Alex dropped the subject deciding that she will try talking to Kelley later. 

Later that day, Kelley appeared on training looking a lot better than she did at lunch. That wasn't good enough though, beacause she apparently wasn't as good as it was expected of her and all of the coaches were shouting at her. Alex could sense growing irritation and anger in the shorter girl and knowing she was dangeorously close to snapping, decided to approach her and try calming her down.

"Hey, you okay? You need a break?" She tried for it to come out as calm and soothing as it could and at first it seemed successfull. Kelley looked at her with sadness mixed with anger in eyes, which seemed to soften a little at the sigh of Alex.

"Morgan! O'Hara! Get your asses to move and run! 10 more laps for stopping to chat!" Coaches shout was enough to crash all calmness that Alex put in Kelley and make her snap. Everything in her exploded and the taller girl could almost see the anger and pain radiating from her whole body, as she headed to storm out of the field. 

This time, Alex waited only about half a minute standing in place, before heading after not expecting it Kelley. When she entered the locker rooms, the sigh of Kelley's situation broke her heart. The teenager was hitting the wall so hard, that her knuckles were bleeding. The teers were streaming down her face like waterfalls.  
The older player didn't even notice Alex entering the locker room, too concentrated on getting her frustration out on the wall. She only realised she wasn't alone, when one strong arm wrapped around her waist, while the other one pushed both her hands down, stopping the harmful action. 

"Leave me alone." The words that came out of Kelley's mouth were quiet and filled with anger. She didn't want the beautiful new girl to see her in this state. "Just leave me. I'm not worth it. Leave like everyone else, it'll be better for you." The pain and resignation filled her with double force and thoughts of being unworthy of anyone hit her for the hundreth time this day. She was starting to get used to the feeling of just wanting to die when those emotions and thoughts hit her. 

Alex took Kelley's face in her hands and directed her sight that she was looking right into her eyes. "Listen to me now." When the shorter girl lightly nodded her head, trying not to cry, Alex continued what she had to say. "I'm not gonna leave you. I'm gonna take care of you. You're hurt. I will take you home and help you best way I can. I may not know you long, but that won't stop me from doing what is possible to help you. Remember. I'll be there for you." The "friends" reference caused Kelley to laugh for a second, but the spark of joy in her eyes was quickly replaced by worry and fear.

"You can't take me to my home." Alex didn't understand what Kelley meant, which must have shown on her face beacause the freckled girl looked at her with even more guilt in her eyes. She knew that at this moment, there was no way back, she had to tell Alex what she hasn't told anyone since it happened in July. The knowledge didn't make saying it out loud easier though. She opened her mouth several times to say something, but no words came out. "I have a car, I can drive myself." That was the first excuse that came to her mind, but as she said it, she realised that it wasn't enough to stop her new friend from trying to get more information and digging further. Alex knew that it wasn't the real reason of saying what she said and Kelley was aware.

"You shouldn't drive in this state, you could cause a collision or even a car crash. Kelley. Look me in the eyes." Kelley slowly raised her head from looking at the floor. "I won't judge you Kelley. I don't care how your house looks. I just want you to be save." Her voice was soft and caring and that wasn't what the older girl was used to. She had no idea how to respond to Alex's words, so she finally collected all her courage and decided to tell her everything.

"You can't take me to my home, cause I don't have a home. My parents threw me out when they found out I'm gay. Few days later my girlfriend dumped me and I didn't want pity from this bunch of assholes, so I didn't tell them. So there is nowhere you could take me. I really don't care what happens to me. And this?" She lifted both her, covered in blood, hands to show what she was talking about to Alex. "This just helps. I can focus on getting my anger out on the wall and physical pain and distract myself from thinking how fucked up I am." 

Alex was staring at her in shock for almost a minute before saying anything. First of all, she didn't know what to say. Thoughts rushing through her brain were mostly "Can I kill her parents?" and similar stuff. She didn't even try to fight away the tears that filled her eyes. The urge to hug the homeless girl was overwhelming, so she decided to just wrap her arms around the body that was shaking with sobs. "I'll take you to my home." She said it so quiet that it was almost a whisper, but her mouth was just beside Kelley's ear, so she heard it perfectly fine. 

They stood there for only few minutes, but to Kelley, it felt like eternity, just hugging the most beautiful girl she's ever seen, in the middle of schools locker rooms. After some time they separated and without telling anyone, Alex led Kelley to her car. "This is your car?" She would have never expected Alex to drive black Jeep Wrangler. "How many times will you surprise me again Alex Morgan?"

"I'm full of surprises, you're gonna find out." Alex winked to Kelley, before turning the key and starting the car. Going to school in the morning, she wasn't aware that it was possible for her, to find someone that connects to her as well as Kelley does, just in a week from starting at the new place. To be honest, she has never felt the connection she feels with the freckled girl, with anyone before. 

The next big surprise to Kelley, was the house Alex lived in, and the word "house" is an understatement. It was a mansion in Beverly Hills. Kelley has never been in a house so big and expensive. The garden was perfectly organised, with the grass cut short and the hedge neatly trimmed. "You live here and you still talk to me and go to a public school? Who are you?!" Kelley asked jokingly with a shrug, which causes both of them to start laughing.

Alex parked in front of the house and led Kelley inside. Everything in the mansion was modern and stylish and Kelley couldn't stop herself from staring at everything with delight. 

"Mom! I'm home!" Alex shouted and few seconds later a tall woman with dirty-blond hair stepped out of what Kelley assumed was an office room. The look on her face changed immediately when she noticed Kelley and her state. In that moment, the girl realised that her face must have been covered in mascara that ran down her cheeks from crying, and that her knuckles were covered in blood and still lightly bleeding. It was shocking how quickly the look on Pamela Morgan's face changed from pure happiness about seeing her youngest daughter, to concerned about Kelley's state. 

"Oh my god, what happened? Did you get in a fight? Are you hurt more than the hands?" When the woman ended the last question, she was already beside Kelley and trying to check if she's hurt. 

"Mom, this is Kelley. She's my friend from the team and I think it's not me to explain." Pam nodded her head smiling reassuringly at Kelley, wrapped her arm around the shorter girl and led her to the living room. "Alex, give me the first aid kit from the bathroom. Kelley honey, would you like something to drink? Some tee maybe?" The woman constantly had the concerned but comforting look on her face. She knew there was a bigger story to what was going on with the teenager and was hoping to find out as much as she could to help. She wrapped a big soft blanket around Kelley and went to the kitchen to make three big tees for them, leaving the girl to her own thoughts for a minute.

Kelley has never felt what she felt with the girl she has only met earlier this day. It was like they knew each other for ever, like Alex was there since they were born, like she could tell her anything and always feel comfortable aroud her. When Alex was around her, it wasn't like she was a normal person, she felt safe and home, even though, her family home has never felt like real home to her. The two times Alex's arms were wrapped around her, it didn't feel like just arms of a friend. There was the weird warmth radiating from the strong body, that made Kelley feel like she didn't have to worry about anything anymore.  
She hasn't told anyone about what happened over the summer, but she felt like she needed to tell the one girl she only just met, and for constant, also tell her mother.  
All of Kelley's thoughts were concentrated on the beautiful new teammate while her time alone, and were stopped, when those strong warm arms wrapped around her shoulders. 

"You don't have to tell me, or my mom anything you don't want to. You know that right?" Alex's quiet voice right beside her ear, was the most beautiful thing she's ever heard, beside obviously her laugh. Kelley nodded her head, but she knew she will tell them everything. She just melted into her new friends arms and waited for the girls mother to come back. 

"Kelley darling, will you stay for dinner? We're having a home made pizza today." Kelley hissed from pain when her friend's mom started cleaning up the wounds on her knuckles. When her eyes turned back to the girls face, waiting for an answear, the teenager only nodded her head, trying to stop the tears that started filling her eyes. She didn't feel the pain before, but at the moment, it felt like she could have even fractured some bones in her hands, but she was sure, or at least trying to convince her own self, it wasn't the case. Well, now when she thought about it, punching the wall, so hard, numerous times wasn't the best idea she has ever had in her life filled with stupid and crazy ideas. 

"I punched a wall." She addmitted almost whispering, but Pam heard it, and Alex knew what she said, even though it wasn't loud enough for her to hear it. "Many times. I would have done it many more times if Alex didn't stop me." She didn't want for the words to come out as quiet and filled with pain as they did.

"Why?" The look on the woman's face, became even more worried than it was before. Alex has not seen her mother that concerned, since the time she woke up in the hospital few months before, after over a day of being unconcious. "You don't have to tell me anything Kelley." She reassured her, looking straight into her eyes. "Punching a wall just isn't the most normal activity without a reason." 

"It was out of anger, and frustration, and every emotion, that was locked inside me. The pain helps, you know? And punching a wall with all the force I have? Even better. Helps getting out the frustration and also gives phisical pain, which lowers the mental pain." The girl's voice was filled with the pain she was supposed to get rid of. Alex caught up to it and to the fact that Kelley wanted to continue, but couldn't say anything, so she sat as close to her friend as she could and grabbed her hand, squeezing it assuringly. 

The room fell silent and they all knew, that Kelley wasn't gonna say anything for the moment, which didn't mean she wasn't going to do it later. When she felt it was the right moment, Alex decided to break the silence and change the subject of the conversation. Kelley was actually thankful for it, cause she was starting to get uncomfortable in the situation.

"Mom, is dad coming home today? I saw your car in his parking place." 

"No, he's in DC to see the new client. We may be getting a new offer of projecting a big hotel there. Why are you asking now?" 

"We're hungry and I was wondering if we could make the food now?"

"Yeah, I think it's a good idea. I still think we need to talk, but it's better idea to talk over food, right?" Both girls nodded and Alex led Kelley to the kitchen for them to start making pizza.

Half an hour later, they were taking the pizza out of the oven and setting the dining table for the dinner. As they sat with their pizzas in front of them and orange juice in their glasses, Kelley decided it was the right moment to start the hard conversation. "Alex is the first person I told what happened over the summer. Well, my siblings also know, but my sister is in college and my younger brother is fully dependent on my parents, so he can't do anything and he promised that he won't tell anyone. Let's start with the fact that I'm gay and my family is very conservative." She stopped there to check the woman's reaction, but she didn't seem any bit surprised, so Kelley decided to continue. "At the beggining of July, my parents came back home earlier than expected. I didn't hear them come in and a minute later, my mom came to my room and saw me, kissing my, than girlfriend. She, my girlfriend, not my mom, ran out almost immediately." As all the memmories and feelings started coming back to her once again, the girl's eyes started to fill with tears and her voice got shaky. "I think I've never seen my parents so furious. Thank god that my brother was still on his lacrosse training, cause I wouldn't want him seeing this shit show. They told me that I have half an hour to pack what I need and get the F out of their house. That they didn't raise me to be gay and that a lesbian wasn't their daughter. My dad even shoved me into the wall with the force that hurt as hell, and he hit me in the stomach a couple of times and I think he fractured one of my ribs, but I deserved it. I'm gay and God hates gay people. Being gay is a sin. It was a month before my 18th birthday, but they didn't care that I was underage. I don't know how I am still alive. If I'm not worth my own parents acceptance, than how am I worth being alive? My brother started helping me after he found out what happened, but he has to do it in secret from my parents, so it's not much. To make matters worse, Anna, my girlfriend, whom I didn't tell of course, broke up with me. So I really don't care now. Living in a car for almost 2 months made me realise, that if my parents and the girl, that was supposed to love me, don't find me worth being in this world, than why would I? So really, I don't know why I'm here. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be in this beautiful house, you shouldn't be helping me, I'll probably die in some time anyway. I don't see why you even took me here Alex, why you cared enough to leave training after me." 

At the end Kelley was just rambling about not getting why Alex cared and being sorry for interrupting their perfect live. She stood up and started in the direction of the exit, not caring that they were far away from their school where she left her car. She didn't even hear what any of the other two women were saying, until Alex's arms wrapped around her, stopping her from going any further.

"Kelley, calm down and look at me." Her teammates voice was calm, but demanding and actually made Kelley raise her eyes enough to see Alex's comforting smile. "What do you see on my face? Do I look like I care what other people think about you? Do I look, like I don't want you here?" Kelley shook her head no, not knowing what to do. Her body was still shaking from crying. "No. Kelley, I think you're a wonderful person, no matter your sexuality and no matter what other people think. I think you're worth the world and if your parents and this stupid chick Anna don't get it, than fuck them! They're not worth you! And if you told any of your friends, they would help you. They all love you and want what's best for you. I've only met all of you on friday, but today, at lunch, all I saw was that they wanted the best for you. Look me in the eyes and listen to what I have to say." She waited for a second before Kelley's teary eyes met her own, to continue. "You can always count on me. I will do whatever I can to help you."

Kelley felt the second pair of arms wrapping around her body and she knew that it was Alex's mother. "You can stay here for however long you want. If two people, who gave you life, don't want to be the parents of such a wonderful young woman, than I can be your new mother and I'm sure Mike will be happy to be your new father." At the words Kelley tried to untangle herself from two sets of strong arms holding her. 

"No. I don't need your pity. I'm doing fine just by myself in my car. I have a job, I'm not gonna use your pity to get money, food and a comfy bed, I don't need it." Once again she tried running away and once again she was stopped. 

"Sorry Kelley, but I can't let you stay homeless, by yourself. You're 18 and from what you're saying depressed and even suicidal. I can't let you ruin your future because of two idiots who called themselves your parents. Alex will borrow you some clothes and tomorrow, we're going shopping and buying you some new ones. You can't say no now, cause I've made my decision. You're moving in with us."

"You're making a mistake. Your daughter just met me today. A decent person wouldn't even think about it."

"Kelley, take the opportunity we're giving you, cause I can assure you, that in the state you're in, there is no way you'll get in to Stanford." At the name of her dream University, Kelley's face lit up and with this argument, the battle has been practicaly won by Alex. 

"How do you know that I want to go to Stanford?" The moment she realised she has never told Alex about her plans for the future, her facial features switched from all dreamy and almost happy, to surprised and suspicious and than, after a moment, back to dreamy and happy. "I don't care, you got me right there."

"I didn't know that Stanford argument will have this big impact on your decision. I should have used it earlier."

"Well, you're not the only one full of surprises Morgan." Kelley joked and winked at her with a smirk. "Okay, I'll stay, but you're making a mistake." 

Alex let out an excited squeek and jumped of excitement. "I'll show you to my room! Come with me." She took Kelley's hand and led her to the big room upstairs, leaving Pam smiling looking in the direction her daughter and her new friend dissapeared. She knew that this was the best decision she's made in a long time and could heal two teenage girls in one move. She did it for Alex, she did it for Suzane and she did it for the homeless freckled girl.


	2. We're both fucked up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex tells Kelley about her own issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so English is my second language so there may be some mistakes.   
> Hope you like it etc.

"You're not the only fucked up person in this room Kelley. Do you know why I even moved here?" Alex's thoughts were rushing through her head at an overwhelming pace. After Kelley told her what happened to her over the summer, Alex was sure that she needed to tell her everything. They've been sitting in her room for few hours now and for the past 10 minutes, there was complete silence. They both were burried in their own thoughts.

"I thought one of your parents got a job here?" Kelley's voice was unsure. She was already changed into Alex's pajama and in the younger girl's opinion, she looked cute.

"My parents own a big architectonic company and they were doing just fine in Orlando. We moved because of me." The pain in her voice was noticable. Alex squeezed her eyes shut trying to keep her tears from escaping, memories from 4 months before coming back like a wave covering her from toes to the top of her head. After a minute of complete silence and the feeling of Kelley's hand stroking her leg, as they were sitting side by side on younger girl's bed, Alex opened her eyes ready to continue. "My best friend killed herself four months ago. She was struggling with depression for over two years and I was doing everything I could to help her. She was adopted and found out almost three years ago. She had learned that her biological mother gave her up because she didn't want children. It messed her up badly. We had been friends since we were three and she was practicaly my sister. When she told me that she thought that maybe, she shouldn't had been born and that the world would be better without her, I went to the psychologist myself to talk about her. I wasn't even 15 then, but I tried everything I could to get my best friend, my sister, out of this shithole. Didn't really work, as you can see. Half year ago, she came out to her parents as a lesbian and it didn't go well. They told her that she only thinks that because it's popular and called her stupid and all of the other things. I could literally see her drowning deeper when she came to me this afternoon and asked me if she could stay the night. Two months later, coming home from soccer training, which she didn't attend, I found a letter under the door of my house. It said she was sorry for leaving me, but she couldn't do it anymore. It said she felt like some hands were dragging her from the life already, like they were taking her from her still living body and to the world of dead. Like she didn't feel alive anymore, just trapped in the miserable body. I remember reading it over and over again, until the reality hit me. I ran to her house, her parents were still in work, but the front door were unlocked. I found her, dead pale on her bathrooms floor. Two thin red lines on both her forearms, blood everywhere." Alex's voice broke as she spoke. Kelley had her arm around the girl whos head was burried in her neck and tears making her shirt wet. "I tried stopping the bleeding even though, I knew she wasn't there anymore. I knew it, I just couldn't accept it. I called 911 and her parents. I performed CPR and when the paramedics arrived, they had to forcefully drag me away from her lifeless body." The silence fell over the room for another few minutes. All the memories felt like it was happening all over again, but Alex needed someone to know and the girl, who has been in so much pain for some time now, felt like the perfect person to know. "I don't remember anything since then till the funeral. Just the numbness. I'm sure my parents took me home from Suzane's home, but everything just melts away to me. The next thing I remember is her coffin going down and me throwing ground at it. After that, my grades fell, I stopped playing soccer, I was always alone and almost stopped eating. I spent hours on the cemetery, just looking at her grave. It was like I lost all my senses. I didn't hear, I didn't smell, I didn't see. I felt like, the moment she died, she took my life away as well. A month before we moved here, I went to cemetery and spent there two days. Without sleeping, eating or drinking anything. Well, I was drinking one thing, but it definitely wasn't water. I was sending my parents a text every two hours to let them know that I was okay. Until I didn't. They found me unconcious, beside her grave after two days of not eating or drinking. I woke up in a hospital a day later. My parents sent me to the therapy and decided that moving away would be best thing for me. I started eating again, well, forcing myself to eat actually. I even came back to playing soccer, which took my frustration away. I could spend hours, just kicking the ball agains the wall, or shooting at the empty goal, all alone and still filled with anger. 

"And to think, that being gay, can cause parents to practicaly lead to their kid's suicide. What an asshole you have to be, to do something like that to your child?"

"Are you?

"An asshole? I hope not, but it's not me to judge."

"No dumbass, that's not what I asked, and I'm sure you know what I meant."

"Do I look straight to you? I feel offended"

"Not at all, but I've seen straight girls, who look ten times gayer than I do. God, some of them look even gayer than Ash, Tobin or Pinoe, and they are the gayest of the gayest. And on the other hand, I've seen lesbians, I would never say are gay if I didn't know them. Like Chris or Ali, you haven't seen them on their most femme days yet." Alex let out a little laugh and Kelley knew she accomplished her mission of lighting up the tense situation as much as it was appropriate. 

"So yeah, we're both fucked up. I think this may be one of the reasons why my mom proposed to you, moving in with us. She thinks that you're the person that I need right now. I also think, that she sees Suzane in you and feels guilty, that she didn't help her enough to keep her alive. You know, you're both gay and rejected by your parents, both depressed, and don't try to deny it cause be both know you are. I just took home a depressed, rejected gay girl, she thinks that if she didn't save Suzane, than she can save you. Don't think you're here without a reason, you're here to be the lifebuoy I can hold onto not to drown completely."

"Well, that still doesn't change the fact that your mother is stupid. I've only known you for less than a day, and she invites me to live with you in your Beverly Hills mansion. I could be a thief or a killer with some good acting skills."

"A killer wouldn't admit that they're a killer."

"Maybe that's a part of my strategy, first I make you love me, than, I make your mother love me, than I tell you that I am a killer, than you say, that killers don't say that and than, when you're sound asleep, I kill you and take whatever I can carry out."

"Now, I won't sleep in the night waiting for you to kill me. Remember what I said about wanting to die with my best friend? I still don't really mind if you kill me." She shrugged her shoulders a little bit jokingly and a little bit seriously. 

"Is that my lifebuoy moment? To keep you on the surface?" Kelleys face turned from smiling, to concerned and her voice showed worry. In that moment something in Alex broke, once again, and tears started streaming down her face. She started shaking in sobs and fell into Kelley's comforting arms.

"Yeah." 

"It's okay honey." The older girl knew, that calling Alex 'honey' could help and make her feel loved. "I'm right beside you and I'm not going anywhere." Kelley kissed her cheek and rocked her back and forth slowly.

"Thank you. My mom was right taking you in to live with us. I do need you."

"I think we both need each other."

"You also need your friends. You need to tell them." Alex moved away just enough to look into the freckled girls eyes and stared into them, until she broke.

"Fine. I'll tell them. I'll tell them after the morning practice tomorrow." She sighed and once again leaned into Alex's body. "Can we cuddle and go to sleep?" She sounded like an innocent child asking it, and when the younger forward nodded her head, still burried in her neck, she covered them with the quilt and layed down, with Alex on top of her.

"Goodnight Kelley"

"Sweet dreams Alex. Sweet dreams."

______

The dreams turned out being not as sweet as they wanted them to. They weren't sweet at all. 

At some state of the sleep, Alex felt someones hand on her shoulder trying to wake her up. Kelley's arms were still wrapped around her waist and didn't seem to being close to waking up. When she looked up, she couldn't believe her eyes. Right beside her bed was standing someone she thought she'd never see again. The long brown curly hair, were covering her bright smiling face. 

"Get up Alex. We need to go." She said. Alex had almost forgot the sound of her best friend's voice. The forward stared at her for a minute, with wide open eyes, still not believing what she saw.

"Suzane... What are you doing here?" She finally menadged to say, though her voice didn't come out any bit confidently.

"I came here for you. Now get up and come with me." She grabbed Alex's hand and pulled her up to standing position. The girl looked at the bed, but Kelley didn't seem to be bothered by the movement, as she was still fast asleep. 

"I miss you. You... you're dead. How are you here? You're dead." She started saying those words over and over again. "I miss you. You're dead."  
She was in shock and couldn't stop the expression on her face.

"Don't say anything and come with me." She pulled her by the hand in a direction of the window. As Alex looked out, she was surprised when she saw the ground just a meter below and not 3 floor hight. Suzane opened the window and jumped out without a problem. 

"I'm waiting for you. Just do it, It's one meter, you won't get hurt!" After those words, Suzane just stood outside Alex's window, staring at her awaiting for the girl to move. 

Just as Alex was about to jump out the window, she felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around her shoulders and shaking her slightly. After a moment she also heared her name being called repeatedly by a strangely familiar and comforting voice. 

For a second, everything went black for Alex, but just a moment later, everything came back to normal. She was standing right where she was before, right beside the window, but when she looked out, she saw the 9 meter hight again. There was no perfetly cut grass just a meter bellow and there definitely was no sign of Suzane. The arms that were still wrapped around her body, belonged to Kelley, whe had a terrified look on her face.

"Did you just try to jump out of the window, while being asleep?"

_______

Kelley was woken up by Alex suddenly standing up and breaking out from her arms. For a moment, she didn't know what was happening. She just stared at Alex with confusion for a moment, until she realised what was happening. 

To confirm her suspicions, Kelley stood up and started waving her hand in front of Alex's face. The younger girl didn't react. Her eyes were wide open, but they looked like she wasn't there mentally. She was repeatedly mumbling things like "i miss you" "you're dead" and "Suzane". 

Right when Alex moved to the window and opened it, Kelley moved in her direction and just when the younger girl was about to jump out, she wrapped her arms around her waist and stopped her in her tracks. 

"Alex. Alex. Alex wake up. Alex look at me." 

A few moments later, the taller forward finally woke up. She started blinking her eyes fast and looking around with confused and a little scared look on her face. She was looking around, like she was trying to find something she saw in her sleep.

"Suzane? Suzane was here. She told me to follow her. Why did you stop me? Now she disappeared." The girl started crying and Kelley hugged her for a moment before pushing herself away to look into Alex's eyes.

"Alex honey, she was leading you out the window. Your room is on the third floor, you would hurt yourself badly."

"But it was just above the ground a moment ago. I could just land on the grass without a problem." Kelley shook her head, still looking into the other girl's eyes and holding her by the arms.

"It was a dream Alex. Suzane was in your dream and you were sleepwalking. She's not here Alex." She stopped for a second, checking how still sobbing girl was taking her words. "We should go back to bed and sleep, it's middle of the night. Remember, I'll always be right beside you and when I'm not, you can always count on me and call me."

This was the moment, when Kelley realised, that she has a reason to live. She decided she had to stay alive, to help Alex. Stay alive to keep Alex alive. 

The two girls went back to bed. Still sobbing and shaking Alex cuddled into Kelley's body. Kelley's hands soothingly rubbing Alex's back. It didn't take long for the two, exhausted emotionally and physicly, girls to fall drift to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be there when I write it, don't know when it will be, but I may add a new story about Kelley soon. I'm also considering adding here some stories I've written on wattpad. I need your opinion!
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter! Leave kudos and surbscribe! Love ya!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelley finally tells the team what's happening, a little flashback in Jerry's poit of view and more...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long time I didn't post, but I didn't have time and the writer's flow. I hope it will get better ;-)

"I need to talk to you guys." Was the first thing Kelley said entering the locker room after morning practice. "The most serious talk I have ever had with you." The room was filled with silence and everyone looked at her awaiting continuation.

The freckled girl was looking at everyone with anxiety. She couldn't force the words she has planned so perfectly, to come out of her mouth. Her breathing started getting faster and shallower. Her eyes started filling with tears. It felt like hours until Christen stood up and wrapped her arms around Kelley's shoulders.

"You know, you don't have to tell us, right?" The older girl just shook her head and tried to say something, but everything she menadged to let out was "I have to.".

"Kelley, I'm right beside you. They'll understand, you don't have to worry about it." Alex stood up and took Kelley's hand in her own squeezing it lightly. All their teammates looked at both girls surprised, how in hell did the new girl know what their friend had to say.

With Alex squeezing her hand reassuringly and Christen's arms wrapped around her, Kelley menadged to collect her thoughts. "Please, don't interrupt me." She said and once again looked at everyone, before saying what she had planned in her head. "As some of you know, I'm gay and my parents are very homophobic. Since Fabruary I've been dating this girl, Anna. At the beggining of July, my parents walked in on us kissing." She stopped for a second looking at her teammates facial expressions, feeling Christen's arms tighten. She hated the situation she was in. She has always been the strong, unbeatable and badass person of every group. Showing vunerability was the last thing she has ever wanted. When she felt Alex stepping closer to her and squeezing her hand, reminding her, that she was right beside her, Kelley was ready to continue. "Let's just say, everything after that didn't go well. Anna ran out right when my mom opened the door to my room and froze in place. Thank God Jerry wasn't home, cause I'm afraid that my dad, filled with anger, would hit him or something. Well, he did hit me. When he came into the room, he started shouting and shoved me at the wall and I'm pretty sure he had fractured some of my ribs. After I fell to the ground in pain, they told me, that they didn't want to see me." Saying those words, she didn't even try holding back tears anymore. Her whole face was red, eyes puffy, streams of the salty liquid, all over her face. "They told me, that I had an hour to take whatever and get the fuck out of their home. They told me, that the lesbian wasn't their daughter. That I'm not their daughter anymore, cause thay can't have a daughter who is a walking sin." She stopped talking for a second, just crying and looking down at the ground. "I don't expect for you to be friends with me anymore. If I'm not worthy of being my parents daughter, than I'm not worthy of being friends with any of you. I don't deserve you. I'll just ruin your lifes. I'm just another shitshow you don't need. You guys are amazing and too good for me."

After Kelley stopped talking, all that could have been heared were sobs from multiple people, who got emotional over their friend's speach.

"Where do you live now?" Mal, the baby of the team, was surprisingly the first one to have the courage to break the silence. Her voice was quiet and shaky, but in the unnatural silence of the locker room, no one had any problem with hearing her.

"In my car." By the time, all the girls were almost close enough to move one step to hug Kelley, but they still had many question and didn't want to disturb their teammate's personal space before her asking them to.

"Why didn't you tell us Squirrel?" Tobin's voice was sad and you could hear she was close to crying. Kelley was one of her closest friends and seeing her in such bad state made her heart break.

"I didn't want to worry you guys. I didn't want your pity. And I wasn't sure if you'd still be my friends if I told you. Why would you want to be friends with someone who's not worth even their own parents?" Kelley was shaking not sure of anything at the moment.

"First of all," Ashlyn put her right hand on her heart with a dramatic expression. "Ouch. I feel offended that you think we're such bad friends and would leave you in such hard situation, or any situation really."

"Second of all," Ali continued her girlfriend's utterance. "You can always count on us. You're a wonderful person and your parents are assholes. Kelley, maybe you're forgetting that you're the teammate everyone loves and the best friend anyone could dream of. I think I can speak for everyone here and those who left for college already. We all love you no matter what and will always be there for you. You're our captain." Everyone nodded at the defender's words, which caused Kelley to smile slightly.

"Thanks guys."

"Okay, I have one more question." Megan raised her hand, like she was in class. "Why does the new girl look like she knew already?" At the question Kelley seemed to crawl even more, she seemed and felt even smaller surrounded by over 20 girls looking at her.

She was thankful when Alex spoke up instead of her, answearing the question. "When yesterday in practice, during scrimmage, Kelley left, I went after her and saw her crying and hitting the wall with her bare fists. She didn't really tell me at first but than, when I tried to drive her to her home, because her hands were bleeding and I was afraid that she may have fractured something, I still am by the way, she finally told me that I can't drive her home cause she doesn't have one. So I took her to my house."

"Mansion." Kelley muttered quietly, so only some girls heared it. Alex decided to ignore it though and continued.

"My mom took care of Kelley's hands and offered her dinner and then Kelley told us everything. My mom decided, that she can't let a depressed teenager, be homeless and practicaly forbade her to leave our house. My parents can't adopt Kelley since she's 18, but my mom said, that now they're her new parents." When she finished, Kelley burried her face in Alex's neck, tears now streaming from her eyes like waterfalls.

"Can we hug you Kells?" Ali, who had her arms wrapped around Ashlyn, asked quietly. The crying girl nodded, not raising her head from Alex's neck, but everyone who looked, could see the movement. Few seconds later, the freckled young soccer star, felt arms of her whole team wrapping gently around her.

In that moment, for the first time in a very long time, Kelley felt wanted and safe. For the first time, since her parents told her, she wasn't worth their love, Kelley's mind crossed the thought, that maybe, just maybe, she was worth of love, of friendship and of life.

"Thanks guys." The words were so quiet, that if the locker room wasn't as soundless as it was, none of the girls could hear them. And even though, this were just two simple words, that could be said in any situation, every one of them knew, how much they meant. They knew, that this simple group hug, meant the world to their captain. They knew, that just them being there and listening to what she said and not going out on her, was life saving, to a depressed and suicidal teenager. So they just stood there, their arms around their teammate, not moving until someone would come looking for them, most of their faces covered with tears.

"We love you KO, always remember that." Christen said and got several "We love you" as an answear.

*****

_**(Flashback)** _

_When Jerry came back from his soccer camp, his first direction after entering the house, was his older sisters room. He had so much to tell her about everything that has happened on his camp. What he didn't expect, was the room totally empty, without any sign of Kelley's existence._

_"Mom! Dad! Where is Kelley? Why is her room empty?" He immediately yelled, realising his sister wasn't anywhere to be found._

_"Who?" He heared his fathers voice and in this moment he knew, there was something wrong._

_"Umm... Kelley? Your younger daughter? Your middle child? My older sister? Kelley Maureen O'Hara?" He was trying, but both of his parents acted like they didn't know what was he talking about._

_"We only have two kids. You and Erin." Karen said it so casually that it sounded as it was true, which it wasn't. They seemed so conviced to what they were saying, that Jerry was sure they had talked it through multiple times before he came back home._

_The youngest O'Hara shook his head, not believing what his parents were saying. After a few moments of shaking his head and staring at Dan and Karen in disbelieve, he took out his phone and called the number, that even though was barely used, was saved in his favourite numbers. "I'm calling Kelley." With those words, the teenage boy left the living room and for the first time sice coming home, he entered his room and laid on his bed._

_Suprisingly, it didn't take long for Kelley to answear her thone. After just 2 signals, Jerry was welcomed by his sister's joyful voice. Well, it just sounded joyful, but the boy was able to catch some negative emotions behind his sister's joy._

_"Hi bro, what's up?"_

_"Don't 'hi bro' me. Why the fuck do parents say that they only have two kids and where are you?" He was still very confused and his voice was starting to break._

_"First of all, language Jerry."_

_"Don't care. Where are you?"_

_"I didn't want for it to affect you. Could you sit down?" Her voice wasn't so joyful anymore, it was full of sadness and Jerry couldn't believe it, cause he's never heared his, always happy, sister like that._

_"I'm on my bed." He just admitted._

_"Well. Do you remember Anna? The girl that I used to go out with a lot?" Kelley stopped waiting for her brothers responce. He only mumbled some 'mhm' and waited for her to tell him more. "She was my girlfriend. I'm gay and mom and dad found out." She wanted to tell him more, but was interrupted._

_"They threw you out! That's illegal! I'm gonna fucking kill them! How could they do that?! You're their daughter!" The younger boy was filled with anger. He couldn't believe that his parents could have done something like that. He was about to stand up and do what he said, when his sister's voice ripped him out of his thoughts._

_"Stop Jerry! Don't do anything stupid. I'm not their daughter anymore. I'm not worth it. You're 16, you're dependent on them, so don't do anything stupid. Being homeless isn't easy, so just don't try it. Don't ever tell them you're talking to me and don't say anything against them."_

_"But... but I need you Kelley. Our parent's are stupid for throwing you out." He was now full on crying, his shirt stained with tears and quiet sobs ascaping his throat._

_"They're not my parents anymore bro. Don't try anything stupid. We can meet tomorrow on a soccer pitch. Tell them you're going out with one of your friends and we can talk some more then. I love you Jer."_

_"Love you too Kelley." The boy said sadly before his sister hang up. Then, he fell on his back on the bed and cried himself to sleep. If his parents didn't want Kelley as their daughter, than he didn't want to be their son._

*****

When the school day finally came to an end, Pam Morgan was waiting for both of the girls in their school's parking lot, to go shopping with them. Until the moment Kelley saw her, she thought that it was just a joke, but apparently, it wasn't, and Alex's mom was really going to buy her new clothes and take her in as her new daughter.

She still didn't understand why would a person as perfect as Alex or Pam, want to take her in and help her in her shitty life.

"So, Kelley, show us which car is yours, so Alex could drive it to our house, while you and me will go to the mall. Alex will join us when she's done with it." The woman wrapped her arm around Kelley's shoulders and waited for her to move.

When the teenager stopped in front of an old, falling into pieces, ford, she didn't really know how to act, showing her car, to those two Morgan women, who decided to take her in.

"You lived in this car for two months?" Alex asked with disbelieve. "Wow. I would loose my shit, I don't know what I would do in your situation."

"You'd survive if you had to. I just had no choice." Kelley tried to say it nonchalantly, but it didn't really come out as planned. The thoughts that she deserved to live on a street, or even not to live at all, hit her again, but she tried to ignore it. She dived her car keys out of her pocked and handed them to Alex, who smiled at her reassuringly before entering the old car.

"You know you can tell us everything, right Kelley? I may be your friends mom, but I'm here for you. I know we, and even you and Alex, met only yesterday, but you can trust me. I'm gonna take care of you, like a proper mother should care about their child." Pam wrapped her arm around the shoulders of Kelley, who's eyes were still locked in the direction Alex has just driven off with her car. The girls breathing started to get shallower with every moment.

_You don't deserve them Kelley. It's not real. You're not worth it. You're gonna fuck their lifes up. They're happy without you. You shouldn't have told them anything. You're worthless. You shouldn't even be alive. The world would be better off without you._  
"Kelley? Are you okay? Hey! Kelley! Look at me!" _Am I okay? I'm perfect! Why wouldn't I be. Why would anyone even care if I'm okay? I'm perfectly fine for a person who deserves to suffer. I'm a walking sin, I should suffer as much as possible. When your own parents don't love you, that means that you're not worth of love._ Kelley was drowning deeper as her thoughts were flowing through her brain, not letting her breathe and making her feel, like she isn't in the world anymore. She felt, like she was somewhere else. _This world is too good for you._

She was ripped out of her selfdestroying thoughts the exact moment she fell to the ground, hitting it hard. She only realised what was happening the exact moment everything went black, Pam't panicked face being the only thing she saw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it didn't end like I planned it to, but I think it turned out well. Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think and leave some kudos!


	4. You're my daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelley wakes up, she and Alex are cute and the team and coach are the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been inactive lately! I hope someone is still here.   
> By the way, I don't know if I said this before, but English is my second language, so there might be some mistakes.

Kelley woke up in a hospital room half an hour later. The last thing she remembered was that she was supposed to go shopping with Alex and her mom and then, all her thoughts were suddenly directed into self loathe and she couldn't stop them. She had no idea what had caused it, but the exact moment the first bad thought appeared in her mind, she couldn't breathe, she felt like something was crushing her chest and like the air had disappeared from arund her. She groaned when the pain shot through her head, probably where she had hit the ground.

"Oh my god Kelley, you got me so scared. First we were talking, Alex left and you just froze there. I couldn't rip you out of your mind. Your breathing was getting faster and shallower and I had no idea what to do. Then you fell to the ground and I called an ambulance. I'm so sorry that I didn't catch you." Pam Morgan started her ramble the exact same moment Kelley opened her eyes. She was just repeating how sorry, and panicked, and worried about her she was, untill Alex walked in the room and interrupted her.

"Mom stop. You did nothing wrong and Kelley's fine. Just sit and calm down." She put her hand on her mothers shoulder and motioned for her to sit in the armchair that stood beside Kelley's bed. When Pam was finally sitting, Alex moved to her friends side and took her hand. "How are you feeling Kelley?" She was worried, but smiling.

"I'm fine. My head hurts a little, but I feel okay. What happened?" Her voice was strong and you could tell her answer was true.

"You had a panic attack which caused you to faint, and when you fell, you hit your head. That's why you were out for almost half an hour."

The doctor came in the exact same moment Alex finished her sentence. The woman, was probably around 35 and her smile suddenly brightened the mood in the room. "Hello Kelley. I'm doctor Anne Markinson. As I heared, you know what happened already. Do you remember what were your thoughts, while having this panic attack? It's very important." The woman gave Kelley a comforting smile awaiting the answear that never came. After about a minute of silence she spoke again. "Do you want your friend and her mom to leave?" This time Kelley shook her head, but her lips were sealed tightly and the mental pain emanated from her eyes. When after another minute of saying nothing, her eyes started watering, she finally said the truth.

"No, I want them to stay." Her voice was weak and quiet, but they could hear it anyway. "I didn't even have any reason to think that at this moment. I was happy that I finally have someone who cares about me, but then the thoughts started and I couldn't stop them. I felt like they were crushing me. They were mostly, that I don't deserve you. That I don't even deserve to be alive. That you would be better off without me. I'm a walking sin, you shouldn't even care if someone like me was alive. If my own parents don't care, than why would you?" At this moment, the girl was crying again. She felt relieved that she could say it all out loud, and since the previous day, all the emotions she had balled up inside for past two months, had started untangling. All the pain and sadness and many other negative emotions, she had kept inside for way too long, were now open to the whole world.

"I believe, that you are struggling with depression. I would recommend you to go to the psychiatrist. I can give you a list of the ones I think would be best for you, and you can choose one and call them to set an appointment. Do you have any questions?" When all three women shook their heads the woman smiled more brightly and continued. "I checked and you have a light concussion from hitting your head, but it's so low state of it, it shouldn't affect you, so you can go home in like 20 minutes. I just need to get all the paperwork done."

An hour later, the three of them were back home. Both Morgan women forced Kelley, who of course told them she was fine and they still could go shopping, to lay down on the couch. Pam then made a big cup of tea for every one of them. Alex turned the TV on and started searching through Netflix for a perfect movie to watch or series to start.

"How about The 100?" She asked pointing to about hundreath series in 15 minutes, after every single previous one was eliminated.

"What's this about?"

"A bunch of teenagers who committed crimes are sent to earth, 100 years after a nuclear war destroyed the planet and shit happens. There is also a cute couple of lesbians, so it's kinda why I started watching it in a first place, but the whole series turned out awesome." Alex smiled at the girl sitting next to her, knowing already that she's convinced her with the cute lesbian couple.

"Okay, you got me there. Let's watch this one." They both laughed at how typical it was that the thing that convinced a lesbian to watch something, was a lesbian couple.

They spent the next few hours just watching the show. Kelley and Alex kept saying how badass Clarke, Octavia and Raven were, and how stupid the boys, whom they both decided on calling assholes, were. Pam just sat there and laughed at the girls and how much of typical lesbians they both were.

Everything once again felt normal. For this few hours, they could just forget, that both girls were struggling with depresion, they could just forget that their lifes weren't normal anymore.

The following day, they acted, like the previous days events didn't happen.

"So, tell me more about this school. I've been here for almost two weeks and I still know nothing." Alex laughed when they entered the empty school, half an hour before their morning practice.

"What do you want to know?" Kelley grabbed her friends hand and pulled her in a direction of locker rooms.

"Everything."

"Soccer first. This school has the best sports programs in, maybe the whole world. We have good teachers, so you can get a good education, while training with the best of the best in sports. People from the whole world come here, to prepare to be professional athletes. Most of athletes in this school are in their countries youth representations. Hope Solo went here, she's in the full National team now. So did Abby Wambach. And Sue Bird, she's Megan's girlfriend by the way. The girl got it right. They've been dating since Megan was a freshman and Sue was a senior. People were calling Sue an idiot for dating a kid." Kelley was talking so passionately about all the things in their school, and Alex was just looking at her with a big smile on her face and listening to everything she was saying. "Mia Hamm and Julie Foundy also went here. So did Christie Rampone. It was all before any of our team came here, but this school raised them, to be the best athletes in the world. And now we are here. And literally half of out team is gay."

They both changed into their soccer gear, took the ball and were headed onto the pitch to train before everyone came.

They were playing one on one near the goal post, when Kelley tackled Alex and the girl fell perfectly where the older girl was laying. Her hands landed on both sides of the defenders head, and they ended up just staring at each other, with Alex laying on top of Kelley.

When Kelley looked into Alex's eyes, her only thought, was how could she not notice how beautiful they were, before. She felt the same connection that apperaed when two days prior, Alex stopped her from hitting the wall and took her home. After just two days, Alex felt like home to her.

"Hey there lovebirds! Move your asses up here!" Megan's voice ripped both girls out of their thoughts. At first they looked around with confusion in their eyes, but the moment they realised what position they were cought by their teammates in, they jumped off each other, looking everywhere but at their friends.

"Now we know why the newbie was the first person Squirell told her secret to. Our captain is madly in love with this blue eyed new girl." If their faces weren't painted with the brightest shade of red by the blushes before, they most certainly were after Ash's comment. The blond goalie got and elbow under her ribs from her girlfriend after that, and everyone, beside still very much embarrased Alex and Kelley, and of course Ashlyn herself, burst out laughing.

"I am not in love with a girl, who's mother almost adopted me two days ago. That would mean, she is my sister now." Kelley interrupted their laughter sounding as confident as she could. When the words left her mouth though, she turned to Alex with a worried expression. "Unless you want me to, than I'm madly in love with you." At those words, everyone started laughing so hard, that few of them fell on the grass and were holding their stomachs, because they hurt from laughing so hard.

"Oh my god!" Ashlyn menaged to say through now sobs and giggles, because she was crying from laughing. "I was just joking, but she really IS in love with her."

"Can we stop this right now?" Kelley hasn't been so embarassed in a long time and she didn't want to have this conversation in this moment.

She thanked god when their coach came out to the field and told the girls to get themselves together and start to warm up for the practice. The teasing didn't stop, but Kelley was glad that she at least didn't have this talk with Alex on the soccer field, with their whole team present.

After the practice, coach Finstock called the team to himself. Even though his speech was directed to Kelley, he wanted whole team to hear it, because he knew how well connected was his team and he wanted all of her best friends to hear it. They all sat down on the benches before he started talking.

"If someone doesn't want to listen to me talking to O'Hara, than you can leave now." When noone moved from their places, the man smiled and continued. "Kelley, when I told you, I want you to be the new capatain of the team, I didn't tell you why. You've never stood out with your play from the group of genious players, whom I hope to see in full national teams in the future. Well, except for the fact that you can play any position."

Alyssa was about to interrupt, but Ashlyn was faster. "I don't agree with you here. She's not really good at the goal. She's to small." The younger goalie just nodded and motioned coach to continue.

"As I was saying, you're not much better than all of those girls behind you. Heath is better with tricks, Press can shoot from a very long dinstance, and Rapinoe's passes are always perfectly calculated of an assist. But you are what keeps this team together. You have the best leadership skills of the whole team. You are friends with every single one of them, even the kids that come from middle schools. They come here, not knowing what they are doing, scared and lost, and you take them under your wings and you show them that they're welcome here. Even if you, are not feeling well, you make sure, that everyone around you is. I think I'm speaking for everyone here. You're a leader of this team. You are the person that will push us to the country championship and you are the person, that will push every player on this team, to be even better than they are now." He stopped for a second looking at his whole team, with tears in their eyes, nodding and confirming his words. "And I see that you struggle with something. I don't know what it is, but you can talk to me anytime you need. I care about you as I care for my own daughter. If you need anything, I can get you help. If you just want to come after school and kick a ball to get your frustration out, I will be here waiting."

When he finished, Kelley was full on crying. She stood up and wrapped her arms around the man. The whole team was emotional after the speech and they knew that what their friend was about to say, was going to kill them, so they remained silent in their current positions. "Thanks coach. You don't know how much this means to me. Like really. You have no idea." She hugged him once more, before pulling back and saying what she had to say. "I've already told the team and I think you also deserve to know. You saying that you care about me like I was your own daughter means so much to me, because my parents don't. In the beggining of July, they found out that I'm gay and they told me that I'm not their daughter anymore. They threw me out and I lived in my car. I didn't even tell any of my teammates and acted like everything was okay, because I didn't want their pity.   
So, this really means much to me. You all are my whole world." She looked up from where she's been staring at her feet. Her facial expression switched from sad and vunerable, to a badass, concentrated soccer captain face. "And I hope that you all know, that I'm not afraid to kick ass and push you to be better, no matter what. When it comes to soccer, you all know, that I'm the most competitive person you've ever met and I don't give up. I can be the hand to help you up when you fall, I can be a shoulder to rely on, but I can also scream at you when your lazy ass won't run fast enough."

"And that is why I chose you to be a captain."


	5. Is everyone on this team gay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love talk, parent talk, team talk and sis talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's kinda a silence before a storm, the next chapter will be really triggering. I have next few chapters planned but I haven't written them yet though, so you have to wait for them. 
> 
> Sorry for all language mistakes I probably made, English is my second language.

"Can we talk about what happened before practice today?" Alex asked when they were watching The 100, laying in Alex's bed this night. The freckled girl tensed at the topic she was hoping to be left forgotten and focused on her own fingers sitting in her lap. When she didn't get the answer, Alex raised her head to look at her friend, just to see Kelley deep in thought, playing with her own fingers and trying to avoid looking at her. "Look at me Kelley."

When the captain finally looked up at her, Alex gave her a comforting smile and wanted to give her more encouraging words to try and get some information out of her, but Kelley let out a sigh before she could say anything. "I don't know Al. I don't know what I feel. I know that I feel some kind of connection with you. I know that I'm thankful. I know, that you're the only person who realised that I'm really not fine. I know, that you stopped me before I broke my fingers and that you offered me to stay at your home, since I don't have my own. But I don't know if I have any romantic feelings towards you. I don't think I'm even ready for them." She once again looked Alex straight in the eyes to see what she's thinking and when she realises that the girl isn't a bit angry at her and just gives her a supportive look, she decided to continue. "I've only known you for what? Three days? And you have already done so much for me that I won't be able to ever repay you. I already feel closer to you than I've ever felt with some of the people I grew up with. But do I have feelings for you? I have no idea." At the end of her monologue she softly smiled and waited for Alex to shake herself from the shock of what she's just heard.

"I... I don't know what to say, but I fully agree with you. We're not ready for relationships and it's too early to really recognise our feelings. And about what happened before practice, I think we should go with the flow of life and just not label ourselves with whatever. We do what we feel we should do in any situation and not care about anything."

"Yeah, I'm happy we are thinking the same thing. I really like you, but it's too early. Espetially since your mom decided that you need another sister and took me in." Both girls laughed at the comment and the whole tension that had built up in the room fully disappeared.

Mike Morgan came back home right before dinner on Wednesday afternoon. His wife had already told him about their daughter's friend, who was threw out by her own parents for being gay and who seemed to be very close with Alex. She told him that this girl could be a good influence on their youngest kid and she was going to bet with him, how lond will it take for the two teenagers to start dating. The man couldn't be more excited to come home and meet this Kelley.

So when the girls went downt to greet Alex's father, he didn't wait for Kelley to be introduced to him and just hugged both girls, like they were both his daughter and he hadn't seen them for three years and not three days.

Kelley was surprised when she realised that the situation wasn't uncomfortable for her. She couldn't help the wide smile that crept it's way onto her face. She felt warmth in her heart, but at the same time, there came a little bit of sadness. She had never felt so much love from her own parents as from Mike and Pam, even though they didn't even know her and before they found out, her own parents were good. Beside the constant fear of what would happen if they found out that she's gay, Kelley never felt that her family wasn't loving and happy. Now, when she felt all the love, from almost complete strangers, she realised, that maybe, just maybe, her family wasn't as good as she had thought.

"I'm so happy to meet you!" Alex had never seen her father this excited and she was pretty sure that the last time he acted like that, was when she was born and he saw his new daughter. "You need to tell me everything about yourself Kelley. Who is my new daughter? Oh my god! I'm so excited. Pam I have a new daughter! Or will it be a daughter in law? What are your plans for my lovely daughter? Are you two kids together already?"

"Dad. Can you stop talking?" Alex interrupted him when she realised that Kelley was getting overwhelmed. When Mike looked at the shorter girl, his facial expression softened and went from overexcited to comforting.

"Sorry Kelley. I was just excited." He stepped in between both girls, put his arms around their shoulders and led them to the dining table. They all sat and Pam put the plates with pizza in front of them. "So Kelley. Tell me everything. What you like, what you don't? Everything what knowing will help us to be good parents to you."

The word 'parents' still overwhelmed the girl, but it was an incredibly good feeling. A feeling of having a family and being loved. The moment her own parents told her she wasn't their daughter anymore, she believed that she would never feel this, but here she was, sitting by the table with a girl, who she felt something for, just didn't know what yet, and her parents, who told Kelley they wanted to be her new parents and love her like she was their daughter. Here, she had new parents. Here, she was talking to people who wanted her to be their daughter and love her. After living in conviction of being not worth living, it was the best feeling Kelley's ever felt.

The freckled girl thought for a minute, what to say, but in the back of her head, she already knew it. "Well, I love soccer. I'm also interested in technology and have always dreamt of going to Stanford. I actualy have already been offered to go there with soccer and my good grades, but now, as all my parent's savings for me to go to college went for their new car, I will probably try to go pro in soccer after high school. If no club will want me, I'll try in Europe."

"You'll go to Stanford." Mike said like it was the most certain thing in the world. "We'll pay for you."

"No. You let me live under your roof, that's enough for me. I won't take few thousand dollars from you." Kelley tried to argue, but looking at Alex's parents' faces, she already knew she wouldn't win this fight.

After ten minutes of coming up with new arguments against Mike and Pam giving her money to pay for Stanford, the freckled girl finally gave up.

"Okay, but you didn't finish telling us about yourself. Do you have siblings? What is your favourite food?"

Kelley told them everything about how her older sister offered her to move in with her, but she didn't want to leave the school that gave her best opportunities. How her younger brother called her panicked, because their parents were acting like she didn't even exist. She talked about her favourite pizza. About the youth national team camps.   
For the first time, Alex saw Kelley bouncing from happiness and excitement about the things she was talking about. Looking at the older girl being so passionate about something, warmed Alex's heart.

...

"Okay, so like, is everyone on this team gay?" Alex asked confused when the english girl, Rachel, sat in Kristie's lap and kissed her on the cheek. Tobin was sitting with her arm around Christen's shoulders, Ali was putting fruit pieces in Ashlyn's mouth, aussie Sam and Nikki were looking at each other with heart eyes and Abby was sitting in Sammy's lap and laughing.

"I'm straight."

"You're 12 Mal."

"Some of us are straight." Said Julie. "Abby and Sammy are just straight best friends, they just act like a couple. Rose is straight. Crystal, Allie, Moe. I'm bi, but I'm dating Zach..."

"He plays football, but we forgive him cause he's not a douche like most of them." Kelley interrupted her.

"Exactly! Lindsey and Sonny are bi and I have no idea about Lys."

"I'm pan. I don't give a fuck about gender, I only care if they're hot."

"So, not even half of the team is straight? Why didn't I move to LA earlier?!"

They were deep in conversation about gayness and how the biggest lesbian on the current full national team, Abby Wambach, went there, when Kelley felt her phone vibrate, informing she had new text message.

_**Erin** : Call me when you can. We need to talk._

"Well shit." Kelley said out of the blue, looking at her phone, while everyone at the table was laughing at some stupid joke Sonny said. "I said that out loud?" She asked when everyone turned their eyes at her and stopped talking.

"What's the new shit?" Tobin joked looking at her curiously.

"My sister just texted me to call her, and it really looks like she's mad at me for something."

"Well shit." Affirmed Ashlyn, who had met Erin many times before and knew that the older girl was even more murderous than Kelley.

"So, I'm just gonna call her. Remember, that I want my funeral to be the biggest party any of you have and will ever attended." She sighed before standing up and walking away with the phone in her hand. When she was finally outside of the school, that by the way always smelt like teenage boy's sweat, she took a deep breath before hitting the call button beside her sister's name.

"Hi sis, what's up?" She asked nonchalantly, when the older O'Hara picked up after two signals.

"Don't 'hi sis' me here Squirrel. We both know why I asked you to call."

"Well, no. I have no idea why you told me to call you." Kelley rolled her eyes, even though she knew Erin couldn't see it.

"You really don't. Do you?" Erin said and sighed at her baby sister's obliviousness.

"No I really don't." The younger sister was starting to get irritated. Why the fuck couldn't Erin just tell her why she wanted her to call, and kept playing the waiting game?

"You got me really worried. You didn't call me in few days and like, half an hour ago, our lovely little brother Jerry, calls me and tells me, that your car isn't in school's parking lot for some time now and that every time he sees you, you're with this new girl. Please tell me you're not one of those U-Haul lesbians at the age of 18. Please, tell me you didn't move in with a girl after three dates and a week of her being your girlfriend."

Kelley smirked to herself. Hearing that her sister educated herself so much, that she knew the U-haul lesbian term, both warmed her heart and made her laugh. "I am even better than them. I first moved in with her and then am planning to take her on a date. So technically, I'm not a U-haul lesbian, because we're not together yet." She could practically see her sister facepalm when she heared that and Kelley couldn't keep her laugh in any longer.

"God, how the fuck are we even related? Why do I keep up with you?"

"Because, despite what our parents say, I'm your sister and you love me. And it's even their fault you're related to me, a hopeless lesbian."

"My annoying little sister became even more annoying. And we're not even living in the same state anymore!" Kelley laughed at her sister's dramatic responce. Erin and Jerry were always able to make her laugh, even if she was feeling the most awful and depressed. Even when she was lost in her head, with negative thoughts and suicide plans, one call from one of her siblings and she always found a way out of the black hole of her brain. "So, I'm happy you're safe and and have a roof over your head at night. Now tell me about this girl." In this exact moment, the bell, informing her she has 3 minutes to get to her math class, rang.

"Sorry sis, but I don't have time for this. I have to get to class."

"At least give me her name so I can stalk her on facebook!" She sighed at her sister's inquisitiveness.

"Alex Morgan."

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if it shows to you that this story is finished, but it does to me and it isn't. There will be more chapters.


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